4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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