Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
