Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
