id be glad to
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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