Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Enjoy the penises
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
