I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Randomize
