I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
