Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize