Christians are straight up FREAKS
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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