wrigley field is MILF paradise
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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