I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
