walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize