I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
