I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
