Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
