why didn't you poke me back
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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