We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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