I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
