"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
