singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
