Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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