on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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