just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
