Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Randomize
