why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
