I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
