You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
