scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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