I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
