she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
