isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
