I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
