i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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