I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
