And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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