Do you still have your period?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
