I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
