Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
