I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
