Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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