when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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