I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
