And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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