I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
