We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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