You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
