What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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