yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
third nipple confirmed
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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