8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
