That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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