I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I got inside last night via doggy door
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
