I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize