that's an acceptable place to lick
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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