well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
