I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
