Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
