I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
