Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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