there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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