I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he was CRYING into my vagina
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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