Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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