I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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