i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
